During a press conference held on January 9, 2025, Rwandan President Paul Kagame addressed questions from journalists, including Kevin Christian Ibarushimpuhwe of BTN. The journalist sought the President’s perspective on the youth delaying marriage due to financial constraints.
President Kagame acknowledged that while financial challenges are a reality for some, not all who postpone marriage lack resources.
He also emphasized the government’s commitment to poverty alleviation, ensuring that even those with limited means can afford weddings.
This thought-provoking question inspired an ICK News journalist to delve deeper into the modern challenges of marriage in Rwanda.
Are financial limitations truly the main obstacle preventing the youth from tying the knot? What exactly constitutes “sufficient means,” and are there cultural factors at play?
Why are young people reluctant to marry?
Although financial concerns are often cited as the primary reason, other significant factors contribute to young people’s hesitation to marry.
A notable concern is the increasing rate of divorces. According to a recent report by Rwanda’s Judiciary, 2,833 couples filed for divorce in the 2023/2024 fiscal year.
Fear of responsibility also weighs heavily on many. A young man, who requested anonymity, shared “When you marry, responsibilities increase drastically. You’re expected to provide for the household and raise children. It feels like a burden that’s too heavy for some of us.”
Isimbi Irakoze Diane, a newlywed, pointed to peer pressure and the desire to emulate celebrities as another factor. Many aspire to luxurious weddings they can’t afford, leading to the belief that millions of Rwandan francs are necessary for a proper wedding.
The complexity and expense of contemporary Rwandan weddings exacerbate the financial burden. Even modest weddings can cost upwards of RWF 5 million, with lavish ones exceeding RWF 20 million.
The proliferation of new wedding customs has significantly driven up costs. Traditional Rwandan weddings now often include events like:
- Wedding project launch ceremonies
- Introduction of the bride
- Proposal kneeling (“guter’ivi”)
- Pre-marital counseling for the bride (bridal shower)
- Traditional dowry ceremony (“gusaba”)
- Legal marriage registration
- Church or religious ceremonies
- Lavish receptions
Other expenses include hiring professionals such as MCs, singers, and even elders to perform specific rituals.
Jean Claude Ntihogoza, a wedding singer, noted that hiring an elder for the dowry ceremony costs over RWF 100,000, while MCs charge more than RWF 200,000. Venue decorations, attire, and other embellishments further inflate the budget.
One couple, who married in late 2024, revealed their wedding cost over RWF 6 million despite efforts to minimize expenses.
In an interview with ICK News, Pastor Dr. Antoine Rutayisire highlighted how cultural shifts post-1994 introduced costly practices to Rwandan weddings.
“In traditional Rwandan culture, even kings paid a single cow as dowry. The practice of demanding multiple cows was imported from Uganda. Now, with fewer cows available, these are monetized, with one cow valued at RWF 1.5 million or more,” he explained.
He also criticized the competitive nature of modern weddings, where couples overspend to impress.
Lessons from western cultures
Pastor Dr. Rutayisire suggested Rwandans adopt a more practical approach, drawing inspiration from Western countries.
“In Europe and America, guests are served a simple glass of wine, and the celebration ends. I don’t understand why we indulge in such extravagance when we lack the means,” he said.
Instead of spending heavily on elaborate ceremonies, he encouraged channeling funds into meaningful investments, such as buying land or building a house.
He also advised young people to avoid the pressure to compete and embrace simplicity.
“Parents can play a role by agreeing to support their children in hosting weddings on a single day instead of spreading ceremonies over multiple days,” he added.
For couples starting their journey, Pastor Dr. Rutayisire emphasized the importance of mutual understanding, practical decision-making, and avoiding debt.
Efforts to encourage marriage were recently reinforced by First Lady Jeannette Kagame, who highlighted its importance in a heartfelt message on her social media platforms.
She described marriage as a legacy passed down through generations and a source of joy requiring selflessness and commitment.
The National Institute of Statistics of Rwanda (NISR) revealed that the number of registered marriages rose from 35,529 in 2022 to 57,880 in 2023, showing progress despite prevailing challenges.